Thursday, March 23, 2006

Revisionist History

Lizzie Borden took an axe
And hewed some lumber, laid in stacks

When she saw what she had done
She built a lean-to, just for fun


- MJP, 3/22/06

30 Comments:

At 7:57 PM, Blogger Julie said...

p.s.

COCKS

(by which I mean WANG)

 
At 9:27 AM, Anonymous GABRIEL said...

GABRIEL DOESN'T WANT THAT.

 
At 10:14 AM, Anonymous Tupac said...

That's why I fuckz yo' bitch, ya fat muthafucka'

 
At 8:39 PM, Anonymous Helen Keller said...

UUAUAHAHAHHGHGHH!!! I CAN TELL UR BLOG SUX EVEN THOUGH I M BLIND AND DEAF. AUUUUUHGHGHGH!

 
At 11:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

FAGSPLOSION!

 
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At 9:35 PM, Anonymous Vladimir Ilich Lenin said...

Foolish capitalist pigs, you have brought this plag of Spam upon yourselves!

Glorious Communism shall rise once more, comrade!

 
At 11:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lenin could spell plague.

Dick.

 
At 9:39 AM, Anonymous Vladimir Ilich Lenin said...

Such useless silent letters affixed to the ends of words are the work of capitalist pig-dogs who feel compelled to lengthen words to compensate for their tiny cocks.

And only someone very insecure about their sexuality and/or masculinity would go out and point out the other places in this post, and my last, where my words do contain silent letters.

Scum! You make me sick!

Vodka, Sputnik, Communism, and Glory to Mother Russia!

 
At 8:15 PM, Anonymous Trent said...

I still recall the taste of your tears
Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears
My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore
Scraping through my head 'till I don't want to sleep
Anymore

You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I'm down to just one thing
And i'm starting to scare myself
You make this all go away
You make this all go way
I just want something
I just want something I can never have

You always were the one to show me how
Back then I couldn't do the things that I can do now
This thing is slowly taking me apart
Gray would be the colour if I had a heart
Come on, tell me

You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I'm down to just one thing
And I'm starting to scare myself
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I just want something
I just want something I can never have

In this place it seems like such a shame
Though it all looks different now
I know it's still the same
Everywhere I look you're all I see
Just a fading fucking reminder of who I used to be
Come on, tell me!

You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I'm down to just one thing
And i'm starting to scare myself
You make this all go away
You make it all go way
I just want something
I just want something I can never have
I just want something I can never have

 
At 9:37 AM, Blogger MJP said...

Oh, Trent!

There is no YOU; there is only ME!

 
At 2:29 PM, Anonymous RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE said...

I AM AN UNOPPRESSED RICH BOY

AND I AM GOING TO SCREAM

MY MUSIC IS EVEN MORE HIDEOUS THAN YOUR MOM'S FACE

NOW I'M GONNA REPEAT MYSELF

NOW I'M GONNA REPEAT MYSELF

NOW I'M GONNA REPEAT MYSELF

NOW I'M GONNA REPEAT MYSELF

NOW I'M GONNA REPEAT MYSELF REALLY LOUD AND END IT WITH A SCREAM

INCOMPREHENSIBLE GARBLED NONSENSE ABOUT HOW I AM A POOR BOY EVEN THOUGH I AM A SILLY RICH BOY WHO HAS NEVER ENDURED HARDSHIP EVER

 
At 7:11 PM, Anonymous oh man the 3DG3 said...

hey, Zach de La Rocha has lead a tough life of sticking it to the man.

And being an utter dick and encouraging male audience members to grope female audience members, but YOU DON'T KNOW HOW IT FEELS.

 
At 12:31 PM, Blogger Julie said...

This is as good a time as any to return to WANG, isn't it?

 
At 3:08 PM, Anonymous cathy said...

If, by WANG, you mean COCK, then I'd have to agree.

 
At 10:16 PM, Blogger Julie said...

COCKS

WANG

COXSWAIN

yes, sounds about right to me.

 
At 10:23 AM, Anonymous cathy said...

Hey, Julie... what did the COCK say to the WANG?

 
At 6:49 PM, Blogger Julie said...

Why, I'm sure I don't know, Cathy! What *did* the COCK say to the WANG?

 
At 8:05 PM, Anonymous cathy said...

"You're a DICK!"

 
At 9:27 PM, Blogger Julie said...

Jolly good! Indeed COCKS and WANGS are both DICKS!

I am so telling that joke to one of my office mates tomorrow.

 
At 10:51 AM, Anonymous cathy said...

Yes, indeed, tell your office mate.

They'd have to be a real PRICK not to see the humour in COCKS, WANG, and DICK.

 
At 7:41 PM, Anonymous cathy said...

We're really slacking off here -- It's been a couple days now since we've done so much as mention WANG.

Oh well, here's to making up lost time:

COCK WANG COCK COCK WANG COCK WANG DICK COCK WANG WANG COCK DICK WANG COCK.

 
At 10:10 PM, Blogger Julie said...

WANG FU!

 
At 9:44 AM, Anonymous cathy said...

COCK-a-doodle-doo!

 
At 12:06 PM, Anonymous ASS RAPE said...

FUCK U

 
At 6:57 PM, Blogger Julie said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 6:57 PM, Blogger Julie said...

OH BOY. HOW CAN I EVER RESPOND TO THE WIT OF "FUCK U" AS A COMEBACK?

I just want to know...will I be fucked with a giant throbbing WANG??

 
At 2:12 PM, Anonymous cathy said...

Matt doesn't seem to be responding to COCK this time... so I'm going to start a new strategy (the rest of you are certainly welcome to continue with your WANG antics).

-----------------------

#001 - Bulbasaur

Type: Grass / Poison

"A strange seed was planted on its back at birth. The plant sprouts and grows with this Pokémon."

Bulbasaur are one of the three starting Pokémon available to the player in Pokémon Red and Blue. In battle, they are able to continually drain away their opponents' health with their Leech Seed attack.

 
At 8:06 PM, Blogger MJP said...

Okay, fine. See the front page for a new post. Jerks!

 
At 2:29 AM, Blogger sherry said...

"Rage Against the Machine"? How utterly Socratic...just remember that someday soon the thing you so crudely refer to as your "face" will be the lucky one who is occasionally blessed with one of my practice swings. The unimagined life, after all, is not worth living....

 

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