Saturday, January 27, 2007

Dream Jobs

When I don't write, it's often because I'm feeling scattered and unable to concentrate. I've been in that position for a couple of weeks now. So we're just going to push through because today's sermon is important!

I was talking to Ann the other day, and it turns out that I've got a couple jobs that I would prefer to the one I've got now:

The guy with the sledgehammer: There's a house near where Ann lives that got boarded up and condemned. Turns out that it was bubonic plauge or something, I don't know. Recently somebody with a hammer removed the boards. And the stucco. And whatever else was busy hanging off the studs. That sounds like a totally awesome job (assuming a house that is not stuffed full of plague).

Breaking a house! With a hammer! It's like picking a scab but so much bigger! Also, I'm pretty sure that leveling a house with only crude tools and your fury makes you feel much mightier than picking a scab. Job satisfaction!

Orchid farmer, somewhere in Hawaii: Other than rock star, can you think of anything better? Oh wait, I can:

First Mate on a Robot Boat (the boat also flies): Gonna take a world tour with the rich and the famous and the pretty, and my job is to MINGLE. And push the button that starts the LASER LIGHT SHOW. I could give my two weeks' notice right now if that job was open.

This is a decent start, but I must have missed some good jobs. If you remember any that I forgot, you can remind me in the comments.

Today's bonus: Indexed shows how you can explain human truth through Venn Diagrams. OMG I JUST FELL ASLEEP you said, but you're wrong. It's funny. Go visit!