I Am Back From Italy (Did You Know I Went to Italy?)

In Italy I saw:

• Rome


• The Poping of the Pope: I was in St. Peter's Square when they announced the Pope.


• Pompeii, which I will write a full dissertation about soon because it totally fried my medulla oblongata


• Sorrento: with many orange and lemon trees, felonious restaurants, and gorgeous water, this was one of my favorites


• Capri: balls to the wall natural beauty, where I rolled up my pants like Huck Finn and dipped myself into the Mediterranean. Also I went to Prada and bought some really cute shoes.


• Naples: This just sucks


• Florence: Prettyprettypretty even without any nature at all. Dr. Norman Fell chose a nice city to eat people in, and it's a good place to get lost in, too.


• Pisa: Somebody fucked up

Then today was 15 hours of travel and I'm not even home yet! How hardcore of me!

Last note for this entry: it may worry some folks to hear that through most of Italy my group and I were stalked by a Horrible Monster. It is called the Gorgonzola, and it is a hideous remnant of the times when nightmares stalked the Earth. And wore red backpacks.

I Cast the Swing Vote

I got in to Rome at about 11:30, quite a bit late. I don't think the Italians understood that the train I was on was VERY IMPORTANT.

So I cast the vote for Ratzinger because I adore animal names. Sorry, homosexuals!

Revisionist History

A few months back I put a quiz up on the blog so everybody could compete for a one-pound bag of Starburst.

Though I have eaten all the Starburst from the original Fabulous Prize Package, others can be purchased and it is with this in mind that I give you the new (revisionist) winner of the contest:

Mr. Jason     Jason

Congratulations! (please allow six to eight weeks for delivery)

Stanley Kubrick's Big Secret

Step 1: Make a movie like 2001. It doesn't have to be set in space, really - just make sure that a few dozen film critics call it one of the best films ever made.

Step 2: Spend as many years making movies with as many naked girls as you want. It's art!

Bittersweet, Part I: Bitter

My time in France is drawing to a close, and I'm starting to say goodbye to some of the students. This is sometimes good and sometimes bad.

Last Thursday it was good. I said goodbye to a group that's been difficult almost every time I've had them, and this their last class was no exception.

You know that moment when the bell is ringing and everybody gets out of their seats at the same time? During that moment I (erm) accidentally said to the class "please remember, I hate most of you!"

Whoops. It just kind of popped out.

So no worries, nobody looked at me funny - I think it was well camouflaged by the scraping of chairs and ringing of bell and such.

BUT IT FELT GOOOOOOOOOOOD.